“The Humiliation Sheets have developed a lot over the years, with a host of different categories, but the current model has Snicker, Laugh, Snotty Comment, Refusal to Return a Head Nod (the standard form of greeting at Middle Borough High), Refusal to Return a Verbal Greeting, Refusal to Touch Hands, Public Denial of Formerly Agreed-Upon Opinion, Refusal to Repeat a Joke, and Mortification Event (a catch-all).”

Jeremy Heere’s description of his system for recording information related to his social reputation uses capitalization to create the impression of standardization and formality. Capitalized words are generally proper nouns, making it seem as though Jeremy’s categories of embarrassing events are universally agreed upon or academically derived. This sets up the notion of treating everyday life like a research study.

“And then she’s gone as if, you know, a giant dragon coiled its way up from the floor of the theater and decided to take her for its mate.”

As Christine Caniglia leaves the theater, offended by Jeremy’s firm denial of writing her a letter, the novel employs a simile that compares her exit to a classic fairy tale trope. The allusion to a dragon abducting her suggests that Jeremy must be braver, like a knight, if he wants to win her love. The logic of the simile shows that Jeremy still does not understand the situation: Christine is not being taken from him by a hostile monster. Rather, she chooses to leave because he was rude to her.

“See, because being Cool is obviously the most important thing on earth. It’s more important than getting a job, or having a girlfriend, or political power, or money, because all those things are predicated by Coolness.”

Jeremy equates sexual, economic, and political success with “coolness,” juxtaposing what most readers would think of as power with the type of power that teenagers have. While adolescents are typically excluded from having influential jobs, financial freedom, sexual relationships, and political office, they do have social influence over one another.