Perry’s dreams often feature a bird he describes as “taller than Jesus, yellow like a sunflower” (107). The figure first appeared when he was seven, after a beating by an orphanage nun for bedwetting. In his dream, the bird killed the nuns before carrying Perry away to a heaven-like realm. It continues to act as a “hovering avenger” and protector as Perry grows older and experiences new humiliations and hardships, and its appearance is always an immense comfort and “private joy” to him (107).

From one perspective, these dreams are simply a form of wish fulfillment. Having experienced so little care and affection as a child, Perry grows up emotionally stunted and craving the approval and protection of a powerful, parental figure. Notably, the paradise to which the bird takes him is sometimes “merely ‘a feeling,’ a sense of power, of unassailable superiority” (108), which suggests that the desire for revenge for perceived wrongs plays an important role in the fantasies. On the other hand, the intense beauty and spirituality associated with some of Perry’s dreams speak to more complex wishes and emotions. Perry has a deep-seated belief that he might have “had something to contribute” if only he had more opportunities in life (392).