The Colonel is feeling better by the ninth day of the rainstorm, as he has come to the conclusion that Sara is “a complete and total bitch” (69). He and Miles are attending the World Religions class and Dr. Hyde is talking about the Gospel of Mark; Alaska, meanwhile, has skipped class, though Miles cannot understand why.

Dr. Hyde sets the students their final exam, which asks, “What is the most important question human beings must answer? Choose your question wisely, and then examine how Islam, Buddhism, and Christianity attempt to answer it.” Miles chooses to ask what happens to human beings after they die, while the Colonel wants to know why “good people get rotten lots in life” (70).

After class, Miles and the Colonel are shocked to see Alaska running towards them in a frenzied state. She tells them that the Weekday Warriors flooded her room and that her copy of The General in His Labyrinth is ruined. The Colonel first makes a joke about this but reassures Alaska that “God will punish the wicked. And before He does, we will” (70).