The Lost Daughters of China

The Lost Daughters of China: Adopted Girls, Their Journey to America, and the Search for a Missing Past by Karin Evans is a memoir about the process Evans went through to adopt her daughter from China. Originally released in 2000, Evans published an updated version in 2008 to cover China’s ever-changing policies on adopting children. The book’s narrative bounces between the account of her and her husband’s adoption of their daughter and informative interludes about Chinese culture and policy, particularly concerning population control.

In January 1996, Evans and her husband Mark decide to adopt a child from China. Both in their 40s, they have no children of their own, although Evans did give birth to a boy who did not survive. At an adoption agency in San Francisco, they are told that the process will take about a year and cost $15,000. Two years and a mountain of paperwork later, they are finally told by Max, a U.S.-China liaison, that there is a baby waiting for them in China.

They arrive in Guangzhou with Max and several other pairs of parents who are picking up their child. The city is noisy and chaotic compared to what they are used to, with many large-scale construction projects happening simultaneously. China is booming. After a few days of acclimatizing to the country, they receive Jiang Xiao Yu, their new daughter. They rename her Kelly Xiao Yu in honor of Mark’s father who passed away only weeks before.



Evans and Mark are told little about Kelly’s background because not much is known. She was found outside a local market when she was three months old. No one knows who her true parents are. Evans explores the history of Chinese culture in terms of its discrimination toward women. Baby girls are often regarded as nothing more than a strain on the family.

Evans devotes an entire chapter to China’s one-child policy, which was designed to spur economic development. When China’s population hit 1 billion, authorities believed that slowing population growth was critical for improving the country’s standard of living. The policy led families to abandon their baby girls in hopes that they would next have a baby boy, which is much more preferred in Chinese culture. The preference toward boys led to ratio imbalances in some provinces, where there were more boys than girls by 1990.

Evans, Mark, and Kelly spend the next couple weeks in Guangzhou where they adjust to one another. They hit it off immediately, as do the other parents with their new baby girls. Together, the group tours the city and attends dinners. They take a picture of all the baby girls together. Finally, Evans and Mark take Kelly back to San Francisco.



Although Evans is happy for Kelly and the other baby girls adopted at the same time, she finds out that for every one child that is adopted, there are dozens more left behind. Her thoughts turn to the older children and those with special needs who will very likely never be adopted, and the poor conditions many of the orphanages are in because of a lack of resources.

In an effort to expose Kelly to Chinese culture, Evans and Mark and bring her to a Chinese New Year party. In San Francisco, which has a sizeable Chinese population, it is relatively easy to help Kelly learn about where she came from. In other parts of the country, it is more difficult. Evans wonders if Kelly will grow up wondering more about China or consider herself completely American.

Evans’s thoughts turn to Kelly’s birth mother and the circumstances in which she decided to abandon her daughter. In most cases, research has established, the baby girl already has at least one older sister and no brothers. Also, it is very rarely only the mother’s decision to abandon the girl. It is typically the father’s decision or a joint one. Her thoughts also turn to the possibility one day of Kelly learning about her birth parents, perhaps with a DNA test. For that to happen, some of China’s policies would have to change.



As long as the one-child policy continues, Evans asserts, there will be far too many girls to adopt than families able to adopt them. However, the policy is already being relaxed in some provinces and a couple comprising two single children are allowed through the policy to have two children.

The historical and cultural context interwoven with a love story between a mother and her baby girl makes The Lost Daughters of China an important resource for parents considering adopting from China. However, China changes so quickly, some of the information may already be inaccurate even though Evans published an updated version in 2008. For instance, China no longer implements the one-child policy. Still, the book’s mention of price, paperwork, and process are a useful starting point for those considering adoption.